By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
