This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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