thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
