i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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