I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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