I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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