Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
