There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
