he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
