Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
