I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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