she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
