What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
