I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
