his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
