What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
