i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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