You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
