Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
