I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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