Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
