Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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