I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
