My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
