I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
