We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
