Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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