i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
