So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
