brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
