How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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