Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
