talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
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