He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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