weddingsv make me drug and hornr
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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