I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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