speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
