i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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