My entire life is one complicated drinking game
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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