i would punch a child for taco bell
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
