Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
