I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
