my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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