i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
