there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my being single is dangerous.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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