Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i drank out of a bidet.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
