And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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