After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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