I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
