Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
