he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
