i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
