omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
