Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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